Spice Plant

Spriggan said to me once, he said ‘Spicy, my old friend…’ – because that’s what he called me…

Oh yeah?

What? What have you heard? It’s that Bubbling loon again, isn’t it? Well I’ll tell you something about him.

Go on?

Those bubbles weren’t always empty. There was a time in the fifteenth age of Spriggan when the Sprigot males of a certain age, under cover of darkness, drained all the bubble juice from the bubble tree’s bubbles and turned it into a celebratory cocktail for Spriggantide, leaving them as empty and mentally aerated as you find that poor Bubbly fool today.

Is that true?

So Spriggan told me. And why would he lie? He’s a giant, you know.

That much is true. I think…

Spice Plant

Well, I do, baby. I’m sometimes a little ginger in admitting this, but I’ve been standing here for almost as long as this whole world has existed, and you don’t do that without catching the eye of a couple of important people. Or one, specifically.

And that would be?

I hate to name-drop, but Spriggan was a good friend of mine, you know.

Oh?

Absolutely. And he would come to me, and he would say “Spicy”, he would say, because that’s what he called me, ‘Spicy’ - “Spicy: of all the ages that this world has been through, the greatest always happen to be the Sprigannite ones. The other ages all have things to recommend them, of course, but it is only when I manage to bring a little stability to this shower of chaos” he’d say “…that things manage to move forward.

Is that so?

Well, I can’t imagine he’d tell me that anyway. He’s a Giant, you know. Doesn’t have to say ANYTHING if he doesn’t want to. Or speak to anyone. Not that I’m name dropping…

No, of course not.

Spice Plant

Now, I wouldn’t be bragging if I told you that I have a direct line to a giant, would it?

A bit?

Spriggan, of course. Now, some might think that having the ear of a giant might be scary, but the fact is, it doesn’t make me any more or less than the next tree.

You’re not posh?

No way. Just a regular, somewhat preferentially-treated old tree. But.

But?

Does mean I know a few secrets. Like this: the eleven giants may seem like a united front, but trust me, there are splits and there are secret allegiances of the most surprising kinds…

Oh?

I couldn’t possibly tell you, that just wouldn’t be sporty of me. Spriggan would never trust me again. But…

But?

Well, maybe another time. If you’re very, very nice to me.

I'll try.

Spice Plant

Say, have I told you about the time of the great consternation?

No?

Ohhhh, my little one, come closer. My, what lovely hair you have. Now, what was I saying?

Constipation?

Consternation, my naughty little dumpling. The point when the Giants, in the midst of imagining what the world would contain, could not decide which way up the world should go. Cosma was very lax about the idea of gravity, but Zille? Zille and Grendaline wouldn’t let the matter go.

And?

How did it end? Well, silence for several millennia, while everything just hung in midair, not knowing whether to go up, or down… Then Tii.

Tii?

Couldn’t stand the disorderliness of it all. Fixed it to be one definite way, and that’s the way it’ll stay, for now.

With up being up and down being down?

If that’s the way you see at it, sure…

You mean…

I can’t tell you any more. It was straight from the mouth of Spriggan, and if he found out I’d been telling you? Well…

I understand.

You do?

Not really.