Topic
̶M̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ Assistant Wanted to Help with "Where’s Bruce?"
Dear Lovers of Bruce,
Have you always wondered what it would be like to work under a perfectionistic, self-important, easily-distracted procrastinator for nothing more than the pervasive sense of personal dissatisfaction that comes from being overworked, under-appreciated, and totally taken for granted?
Well now’s your big chance! The "Where’s Bruce?" Project needs YOU!
Example ̶M̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ Assistant Duties:
• providing encouragement and semi-believable flattery to me on a regular basis
• compiling lists of participants
• determining which participants appeared with S-items, and who appeared with which ones first
• double-checking participant list and location snapshot entries against final image to make sure no one was overlooked
• checking participant list against previous lists to determine which and how many are repeat victims
̶M̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ Assistant Qualifications:
• familiarity with forum and snapshot navigation
• attention to detail (like, near-obsessive attention to detail)
• ability to count
• high tolerance for boring, repetitive tasks
• love for list-making and data collection/collation
• willingness to communicate via real-world email (so I can send you the super top-secret Bruce image file)
• ability to keep secrets
Potential Rewards:
• sneak previews of Bruce images
• being on the inside of one of the coolest player-created group projects around
• permanent placement on the “Possibly Less Annoying than Most People” list
• occasional displays of my undying gratitude and other melodramatic outbursts
• possible involvement in future attempts to take over the world
Interested? Don't miss this unique opportunity! Reply below, or contact me in-game via IM or mail message. No previous ̶m̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶ assistant experience required! Although that would be a plus. As would the ability to laugh convincingly at my jokes.
Love,
Siren, ̶M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Totally Non-Hierarchical Facilitator of Bruce Ceremonies
Replies
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Sirentist, Bruce is possibly my favourite part of all of Ur!
I haven't actually participated thus far, but I just get the vibe that Bruce is amazing.
Semi-believable flattery is one of my highly sought after skills, and my attention to detail is surpassed only by my love for lists. I am so stubborn that I have a high tolerance for repetitive tasks, if I care about the end result (which, in this case, rest assured that I do).
I am so good at keeping secrets, but I'll also willingly give you my email address, because that doesn't count.
(Also, speaking of counting, I can do that.)
I promise, if I am successful in my application, not to abuse my permanent placement on the “Possibly Less Annoying than Most People” list. Much. Probably.
Pick me! -
Things I've learned in the past 24 hours:
• Nine out of 11 potential minions prefer to communicate via IM
• Three out of 11 potential minions just pretend to be potential minions and really just want to either gossip about other potential minions or harass me about why this Bruce is taking so long
• One in 11 potential minions will turn the whole thing around and try to trick me into being the minion -
I volunteer. But we may need to work out schedules and time frames. I travel quite a bit so although I can check email, I might not be able to get in game. That's all. Everything else is cool.
*puts on oompa loompa costume* - Can I help take over the World?
- i like to watch
- Minions
- *scowls in every direction at once*
- I qualified up until "ability to count".
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I seem to be falling behind on my minionly duties. hence..
*ahemahemahem*
All hail Sirentist who is so awesome she is better than bacon.
Although I am vegan
*prances around gangnam style* - I will be a minio- assistant!
- *gangnam style* clinched it. sooo badass :)
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Good luck with your mi - assistant search, Siren!! I'd apply, but, though I have the skills, I don't have the time. I am, however, quite willing to laugh at all your jokes at any time (I do this already anyway).
PS I'd also like to point out that this is probably the best job description I've read. Ever. - I volunteer as TRIBU- I mean, minion!