Topic

What was your grandmother's best advice?

When I was prepubescent, my grandmother said to me,  "Don't be a kissing post."         This meant that a lady does not kiss just anyone....Play hard to get.. this advice holds true  to  today..   Make mystery in your love life...

Posted 8 years ago by napabeth Subscriber! | Permalink

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  • Mine sounds a little like Ida Keen's:
    1.

    "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." This advise is very useful if not taken to the extreme. I tell it to my students once in a while. It can be good way to avoid arguments and fights. Not everything has to be a discussion.
    2.
    My grandmother taught me to embroider, make tiny animals out of pinecones, etc. I ended up an artist.
    Posted 8 years ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Can't really remember much except for this: I'm old, and my knees hurt. Is it even advice, really?
    Posted 8 years ago by KitkatCat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My dad's mother died when I was pretty young.. she used to say "stop crying and eat your dinner"
    I was, and still to this day, very emotional:)

    My Mom's mother used to say "stop crying and eat your dinner" .. My older brother used to delight in torturing me.  BUT right before she passed, she did say I had grown up just right.. especially since I was pregnant with her first great-grandchild!
    Posted 8 years ago by Qizara Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I remember getting hold of some matches and going to the barn and setting some hay on fire, had no idea it would blaze up like that, i was about 8 at the time. It was quickly put out by my parents and grandparents. Afterward as I stood in a corner, holding my backside and tears streaming down my face, my gram told me "If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned" I have found this to be a true saying every time I have done something wrong thru out my life.
    Posted 8 years ago by miskey Subscriber! | Permalink
  • If you're afraid of getting caught...You probably shouldn't be doing it.  I was picking my nose at the time (I was about 4 years old) but I find it is good overall advice.
    Posted 8 years ago by Kyinda Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @Kyinda... nose picking has always been frowned upon by grown-ups. We know they all do it in private.  Poor little kids get scolded for doing something  that comes naturally...
    Posted 8 years ago by napabeth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Some things she shared with me recently...

    Instead of freaking out at people on the interwebs, find a garden hose and spray passers-by whilst drinking. Like a grown up.

    You should check out my Jim Croce shrine some time. Might teach you a thing or two about moustache badassery.

    Leggo my eggo, probably wouldn't be an appropriate name for a fertility clinic.

    If you see me wearing cargo pants it's because I'm shoplifting so don't approach me unless you wanna keep watch or create a diversion.

    Bored? Fill a pinata with hornets and pictures of yourself laughing before you hang it in a park and leave.

    I save all of my best eye contact for people that look up after realizing that the only thing they tripped over was smooth sidewalk

    Statistically speaking, accidents tend to occur more often after nightfall because that's when the monster truck is at its most active.

    If you didn't want a crying drunk old lady to eat fries off your kid's highchair, then maybe you shouldn't bring them to bars that I frequent.

    If you're coming to my house for dinner, you should probably know I've likely put a cigarette out on every dish and glass at some point.

    Never break up with your lawnmower in a John Deere letter.

    I'd be wary of anyone who asks you to help build a cage from the inside.

    If your neighbors ever catch you stripping the paint off of their car with slices of bologna just yell "TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!" and bail.

    If you promise not to try to describe your favorite bands "sound" to me anymore, I promise I won't hastily make a jerk off motion with my hand.

    A yield sign is just a mumbling stop sign.

    Go ahead and play that funky music, as long as they ask in a nice non-derogatory way.

     
    Posted 8 years ago by malo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "You might not want to breathe the DDT, but it works like a charm"
    Posted 8 years ago by ArtOfHands RoboGirl Subscriber! | Permalink
  • (To my daughter) Your ear hurts?  Eh, It's just gas, it will pass.

    Dont worry, its just spahlaroolajackarolasis. He's gonna die. (Said often in my life when someone was sick)
    Posted 8 years ago by Innie?, Obviously Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "Here's a magazine and some safety scissors. Go cut out Betsy McCall dolls and clothes."
    Posted 8 years ago by Widdershins Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My favorite piece of grandmotherly advice: "Everyone is always doing their best, even if it's not very good."
    Posted 8 years ago by Miel Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My grandmother taught me never to touch plants on the undersides of their leaves. This has come in very handy with all the tree-petting I have to do in Glitch.
    Posted 8 years ago by Lilypad Subscriber! | Permalink
  • No advice.. but for what it's worth.. My maternal grandmother had a stroke when i was 8, so all i remember is that she never used a measuring cup to make anything and she was an incredible cook!  Her sugar cookies.. Tendersoft perfect.. and not even her daughters were ever able to replicate them.. (but i keep trying!)..  She was a country woman.. sipping tap water from a metal cup sitting by (her) the sink still tastes like pure heaven.. My paternal grandmother was totally absorbed with what people were always doing wrongly.. totally dichotomous.  Her mom, otoh, what a trip! Great Gramma Attie was a hoot!  She loved every minute of her 90+ years and had a heart full of love and giving!
    Posted 8 years ago by Princess Fi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My Gran and Grandpa told me to not even think about proposing until I'd tank my partner camping, or youth hosteling (in Scotland). You see each other a your worst: bad bed, bad no shower, cold. If you still love each other, you have our blessing.
    I didn't come out until after long after they died, but that's how I know they'd have accepted my engagement.
    Loving this thread. Miss you both.
    Posted 8 years ago by Duck Bill Platty Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The most important thing she taught me was just to be. We'd sit in the sun on the porch and drink tea and just be quiet together and enjoy the mornings. 

    Life's too fast and frantic not to just sit and be still once in a while.
    Posted 8 years ago by Kargos Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "Never trust a short man.  Brains too near their backsides."
    Posted 8 years ago by Ebil Subscriber! | Permalink
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    Posted 8 years ago by gimmegames Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I saw this thread a while ago, but as my grandmother (the one I was closest to) passed away recently, I couldn't really bring myself to read it much. I've only skimmed a few comments (Princess Fi, your grandma sounds a lot like mine- she never used measurements and always made amazing food, especially baked goods), though I promise I'll read more fully later, but something kind of struck me tonight, one of those little things you don't think about a lot (just realizing that I'll never be able to call the phone number I've had memorized all my life again), and for some reason it made me feel like posting in this thread.

    I'm not sure what specific advice she gave me that would necessarily be best or wittiest. There were a lot of things she taught me, and a lot of things I learned from observation. And the advice I think she portrayed most, at least in her later years, was probably one of the biggest things she came to learn in her life.

    It was that there is not enough time in this world to waste it fighting with the people you love and care about over anything. And I hope that's something I can continue to remember and carry with me, fortunately without as many growing pains as she had to go through to learn it.

    ETA: On a lighter note, one of the earlier comments made me think of this: When there's a possum or armadillo in your yard, and you don't have a shotgun, get out the hoe.
    Posted 8 years ago by Little Miss Giggles Subscriber! | Permalink
  • If one or two people don't like you that's their problem... if nobody likes you it's probably your problem.
    Posted 8 years ago by Reni's Mum Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Always keep your promises. Don't make promises you can't keep.
    Posted 8 years ago by Essie Kitten Subscriber! | Permalink
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