Said Schr?dinger's Cat With A Smile
I'll Be In The Box With A Vial.
With The Poison I'll Be
Quantum Tangled You See,
Thus Alive And Dead Both All The While.

-- swiped from http://www.astronomyhints.com/quantumcat.html

Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.To some this may seem a ridiculous split,But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough shit.

-- excerpt from Cecil Adams

I'm hunting puddy-tats.

I was singing in my dulcet tones on someone's home street, and to my surprise and pleasure they presented me with a gift! It is clearly a prized personal possession, a piece of footwear, presented to me at very high velocity. It nearly clipped an ear, such was the enthusiasm of the sender. Clearly they were overwhelmed by my lovely singing, which they called "caterwauling" clearly in reference to my species.