There is no way not to be excited
When what you have been disillusioned by raises its head
form its arms and seems to want to talk to you again.
You forget home and family
and set off on foot or in your automobile
and go to where you believe this form of reality
may dwell. Not finding it there, you refuse
any further contact
until you are back again trying to forget
the only thing tha moved you (it seems) and gave what you forever will have
but in the form of a disillusion.
Yet often, looking toward the horizon
There-inimical to you?-is something you have never found
and that, withut those who came before you, you could never have imagined.
How could you have thought there was 1 person who could make you
happy and that happiness was not the uneven
phenomenon you have known it to be? Why do you keep believing in this
Reality so dependent on the time allawed it
that has less to do with your exile from the age you are
==>

...
Than from everything else life promised that you could do?

--written by Kenneth Koch