Status update

All of the recent honesty and disclosure has inspired me to do the same. I sincerely hope that none of my close friends are too disappointed and that I don't burn any bridges by doing this but I have faith that all of you will be understanding. So....... the truth... I am really 18 months old. Some of you may have suspected already and many others are horribly shocked I am sure. For the record, I rarely poo myself anymore these days and I have almost completely stopped using it as a wall crayon. Admittedly I whine a lot, suck people's thumbs (mine is disgusting) and do the baby slide if you try to pick me up, but I will not apologize for my all natural milk supply. Don't you dare take that away from me. I may still be a little wobbly when I walk and have a funny shaped head, but I am people too dammit. That is all. I hope we can still be friends.

13 replies

13 replies
  1. Osiris χ

    I'm mildly disturbed that you are 1.5, dad. Logic and reason = out the window

    1 reply

  2. Leïla

    lol! I have to admit that i'm not surprised, i've always suspected you were underage, especially since i saw that picture:

  3. chilirlw

    You'd think I'd be uncomfortable discussing porn and cheetos in front of an 18 month old, but, strangely, I'm not. *munch*

    1 reply

  4. kastlin

    Somehow I always pictured you as older, like 24-30 months. But as long as I'm not planning on dating you, I'll just be impressed by your maturity.

  5. scroobienoob

    well. i'm a *little* disturbed by this news... i mean... being that we... had something...waking up with you under the dinosaur's ass-crack-of-dawn that day, frolicking in poo and mimicking each other; i guess that's normal behavior for a toddler i now realize........... i also realize that it was more of a bowel movement, not a ....bowel moment. i just don't know if i can face anyone right now. i may need therapy. what kind of monster am i??? i think what i've done is illegal? oh dear. i'm confused. i feel cheated. and a little dirty. all this time i ignored the warning signs: the oedipal complex, claims that you fathered illegitimate children... i was in denial of the truth. the truth that you violated the terms of service!!! you're nothing but a cheater! and a liar! and a poo- flinger! *sobs* I don't know, fyo. i just don't know. i need some time to adjust to this matter of epic, startling fecundity. <clutches chest>

    1 reply

  6. Voluptua Sneezelips

    I thought you were a little short and funny-looking, but I let it go because you had such a beautiful, luxuriant beard.

    1 reply

  7. Kukubee

    Wow, now I feel awkward for having shown you my dong and selling you drugs!

  8. Ayasta

    Damnit! You have me beat! I was going to come out that I'm really 3... I'm totally telling people NO all the time and throwing tantrums left and right when I don't get my way.

  9. bored no more

    so wait.... if you're actually 1 1/2 .... and you are 3 years older than me..... no wonder I felt so young

    1 reply

  10. Snazzlefrazz

    I remember you from the Alpha when you were still an embryo

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