Seriously, they suck.

I hate the Great Gardening Lag!
My most loathed!

I have grievances!

Dear Plate of Beans,

I found this tuna salad sandwich in my locker. I think I put it there on the first day of school last year. It might have been the year before. The color is a little weird but it still smells like tuna. Is it safe to eat? I am very hungry.

P.S. I already ate it, should I see a doctor?
P.P.S. How much puke is normal?

Why can I never think of anything clever to say when the situation requires clever thoughts?

P.S. I just know that I'll wake up in the middle of the night tonight having thought the cleverest thought ever.
P.P.S. I also know that I'll forget the cleverest thought ever as soon as I go back to sleep.

Dear Plate of Beans: I am 8 months old---I think.
Some of my glitchy friends say there is no Glitchmas Claus.
Humbaba says, "If you see it in The Sun, it is so."
Please tell me the truth; is there a Glitchmas Claus?

Rennie Nolastname.
Rennie's Street.

Due to their natural ability to roll and the forces of gravity, beans belong in a bowl. Who puts them on a plate?

I mean, who are these people?

If I DTMFA will it be $20 same as in town?

All everyone thinks about is the beans.
WHAT ABOUT THE PLATE?

Glitch is closing! What the hell?!

You know I have to file these IRL, right?