Spice Plant
The delectable Spice Plant. Seductively dangling with Allspice, the millability of this simple brown seed means that everyone's favorite varietal of spice can be found bounded in one shell if you look hard enough.
Assets
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One Tree Claims To Know the Unknowable
Spice Plant
Spriggan said to me once, he said ‘Spicy, my old friend…’ – because that’s what he called me…
You
Oh yeah?
Spice Plant
What? What have you heard? It’s that Bubbling loon again, isn’t it? Well I’ll tell you something about him.
You
Go on?
Spice Plant
Those bubbles weren’t always empty. There was a time in the fifteenth age of Spriggan when the Sprigot males of a certain age, under cover of darkness, drained all the bubble juice from the bubble tree’s bubbles and turned it into a celebratory cocktail for Spriggantide, leaving them as empty and mentally aerated as you find that poor Bubbly fool today.
You
Is that true?
Spice Plant
So Spriggan told me. And why would he lie? He’s a giant, you know.
You
That much is true. I think…
One Tree Claims To Know the Unknowable
Spice Plant
Well, I do, baby. I’m sometimes a little ginger in admitting this, but I’ve been standing here for almost as long as this whole world has existed, and you don’t do that without catching the eye of a couple of important people. Or one, specifically.
You
And that would be?
Spice Plant
I hate to name-drop, but Spriggan was a good friend of mine, you know.
You
Oh?
Spice Plant
Absolutely. And he would come to me, and he would say “Spicy”, he would say, because that’s what he called me, ‘Spicy’ - “Spicy: of all the ages that this world has been through, the greatest always happen to be the Sprigannite ones. The other ages all have things to recommend them, of course, but it is only when I manage to bring a little stability to this shower of chaos” he’d say “…that things manage to move forward.
You
Is that so?
Spice Plant
Well, I can’t imagine he’d tell me that anyway. He’s a Giant, you know. Doesn’t have to say ANYTHING if he doesn’t want to. Or speak to anyone. Not that I’m name dropping…
You
No, of course not.
Confessions of a Spice Plant
Spice Plant
Now, I wouldn’t be bragging if I told you that I have a direct line to a giant, would it?
You
A bit?
Spice Plant
Spriggan, of course. Now, some might think that having the ear of a giant might be scary, but the fact is, it doesn’t make me any more or less than the next tree.
You
You’re not posh?
Spice Plant
No way. Just a regular, somewhat preferentially-treated old tree. But.
You
But?
Spice Plant
Does mean I know a few secrets. Like this: the eleven giants may seem like a united front, but trust me, there are splits and there are secret allegiances of the most surprising kinds…
You
Oh?
Spice Plant
I couldn’t possibly tell you, that just wouldn’t be sporty of me. Spriggan would never trust me again. But…
You
But?
Spice Plant
Well, maybe another time. If you’re very, very nice to me.
You
I'll try.
Confessions of a Spice Plant
Spice Plant
Say, have I told you about the time of the great consternation?
You
No?
Spice Plant
Ohhhh, my little one, come closer. My, what lovely hair you have. Now, what was I saying?
You
Constipation?
Spice Plant
Consternation, my naughty little dumpling. The point when the Giants, in the midst of imagining what the world would contain, could not decide which way up the world should go. Cosma was very lax about the idea of gravity, but Zille? Zille and Grendaline wouldn’t let the matter go.
You
And?
Spice Plant
How did it end? Well, silence for several millennia, while everything just hung in midair, not knowing whether to go up, or down… Then Tii.
You
Tii?
Spice Plant
Couldn’t stand the disorderliness of it all. Fixed it to be one definite way, and that’s the way it’ll stay, for now.
You
With up being up and down being down?
Spice Plant
If that’s the way you see at it, sure…
You
You mean…
Spice Plant
I can’t tell you any more. It was straight from the mouth of Spriggan, and if he found out I’d been telling you? Well…
You
I understand.
Spice Plant
You do?
You
Not really.