Topic

An Airing of Absurd Grievances

It used to be frustrating. Then sad. Now it's just plain funny. Every time Tiny Speck tries to marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits, like clockwork, its intimates defend that sort of spiteful behavior. First off, it has no record of accomplishment. I mean, think about it.

Although I appear to have gotten ahead of myself here, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Tiny Speck demands that we make a choice. Either we let it outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness or it'll blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that Tiny Speck just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness." As a closing statement, let me emphasize that we have no choice but to burn away social illness, exploitation, and human suffering. The time to act is now.

Posted 11 years ago by Saucelah Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • We have reached peak coffee, people!  Wake up and smell the lack of it!
    Posted 11 years ago by Carl Projectorinski Subscriber! | Permalink
  • guys what am i reading
    Posted 11 years ago by Sororia Rose Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yes.
    Posted 11 years ago by Carl Projectorinski Subscriber! | Permalink
  • It has come to my attention that apparently certain persons on this forum have far too much free time on their hands. We should all get back to mining. Mine, I say, Mine!

    *attempts to lead the way back to Ilmenskie*
    Posted 11 years ago by Fern Connelly Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ms. Fern Connelly's manifestos require a two-part response: first, a clarification of the prognosis implied by my previous letter; and second, a commentary on Ms. Connelly's own prognoses. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how except for a few bright spots, Ms. Connelly's perceptions are absolutely brainless. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, implying that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing Ms. Connelly and the counterproductive, self-righteous balloon heads in her phalanx of witless pickpockets is no different from implying that we should all bear the brunt of Ms. Connelly's actions. Both statements are ludicrous. Many people aren't aware of how uncontrollable her grievances are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, she has planted her plenipotentiaries everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Ms. Connelly's ability to conceal information and, occasionally, blatantly lie, but it also provides irrefutable evidence that she doesn't simply want people to believe that she could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. She wants this belief drummed into people's heads from birth. She wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will Ms. Connelly truly be able to get away with glorifying the things that everyone else execrates.

    Ms. Connelly's smear tactics are wrong for the same reason that drug use, adultery, lust, murder, and lying are wrong. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, Ms. Connelly's gang appears to be growing in number. I pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that no man who values himself, who has any regard for sound morality, or who feels any desire to see intellectual progress made certain, can rightfully join Ms. Connelly's uninformed attempt to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. Now that I've told you what I think, let me end this letter by stating that I fully intend to change the world for the better. Let Ms. Fern Connelly tremble. And though the heavens fall, let there be justice.
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

    I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a certain Mr. Red Sauce is a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that he will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.
    Posted 11 years ago by Little Poundcake Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *runs in, overly caffeinated*

    *stirs Sauce*

    *flitters off to get more coffee (obviously)*
    Posted 11 years ago by Kristen Marie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Doesn't anyone get the point? It doesn't matter for squat that Machiavellianism is sustained by rigid ideological categories. What's far more relevant is that Sir Carl Projectorinski's only motivation is a disaffected attachment to wealth and power. Before I begin,let me point out that Sir Projectorinski's desire to arouse inter-ethnic suspicion is the chief sign that he's a saturnine blood-stained criminal. (The second sign is that Sir Projectorinski feels obliged to cover up his criminal ineptitude.) Isn't it historically demonstrated that he resorts to the wonderfully capacious term "biblicopsychological" whenever he wants to hide the fact that he is one of those hopeless misfits who quotes the Bible but never reads it? I ask because he makes it sound like representative government is an outmoded system that should be replaced by a system of overt mandarinism. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that there are two kinds of people in this world. There are those who form the association in the public's mind between any actions Sir Projectorinski disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality,and there are those who combat the irritable ideology of ultracrepidarianism that has infected the minds of so many craven sleaze merchants. Sir Projectorinski fits neatly into the former category,of course.

    If Sir Projectorinski ever does present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about his smears,he will instantly have as his implacable and passionate enemies millions of people who want to present a noble vision of who we were, who we are,and who we can potentially be. Such people know that my goal is to get him to realize that other dodgy,morbid big-labor bosses are also consumed with a desire to lay waste to the environment. Of course,if he insists on remaining an ignorant,uninformed, and ill-informed fabricator,that's his prerogative. Think about that for a minute. Let it sink in. It should soon become clear that Sir Projectorinski's humorless,pompous minions continually demonstrate their blatant love of credentialism. As those same minions like to say,"Sir Projectorinski is beyond reproach." That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that many people are convinced that Sir Projectorinski's ideologies are devoid of logic and filled to the brim with hate and misinformation. I can't comment on that, but I can say that we mustn't let him commit acts of banditry and insurgency. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy.

    While most people know this like a schoolchild knows that 2+2=4,Sir Projectorinski keeps saying that he has answers to everything. I suggest taking such statements with a grain of salt because his view is that he can absorb mana by devouring his nemeses' brains. If Sir Projectorinski's dissolute habitués had any moral or intellectual training,such a position would doubtlessly be rendered revolting to their better feelings. He used to maintain that quarrelsome,contemptuous roustabouts should be given absolute authority to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. When he realized that no one was falling for that claptrap,he quickly changed his tune to say that our country's security,prestige,and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. Sir Projectorinski is indubitably an unprofessional liar,and shame on anyone who believes him. That's all I have to say about Sir Carl Projectorinski so I guess I'll stop writing now. Oh,and Sir Projectorinski: Before you start formulating a smart reply,don't bother because I'm just not interested.
    Posted 11 years ago by awesome sauce01 Subscriber! | Permalink
  • It may sound like the kind of bogus claim made on late-night infomercials, but trust me when I say it's true: I have avoided engaging in open debate with bloodthirsty schmendriks—or even acknowledging their existence—for fear of lending them any form of legitimacy. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Mr. Fyodor D, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because this is not a question of chauvinism or priggism. Rather, it is a question about how we must communicate and teach. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own anti-democratic, intrusive tracts.

    If you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Mr. D would brandish the word "semiprofessionalized" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that the Universe belongs to him by right. And, as I predicted, he did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Mr. D could have made the same prediction.

    While China has their Great Wall of China, we should erect a Great Wall of exposing some of Mr. D's more dubious financial dealings. Of course, that's just a figurative way of saying that if there's an untold story here, it's that I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival. With this letter, I hope I have made my views clear: Mr. Fyodor D distracts himself with chaotic relationships and shiny material possessions so he can avoid thinking about how what I find most disturbing about him and his companions is that they not only jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either procacious or prodigal but do so without a pang of conscience.
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *builds great wall of legos*
    Posted 11 years ago by Kristen Marie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wait. What?
    Posted 11 years ago by Daisy Blooms Subscriber! | Permalink
  • (This thread is wonderful.)
    Posted 11 years ago by SeerQueen Subscriber! | Permalink
  • lI love SeerQueen. As for Daisy Blooms...well...Let's start this letter with a little quiz:

    1. Has anyone ever seen Ms. Daisy Blooms working instead of plundering, stealing, and living off the sweat of others?
    2. Whatever happened to good sportsmanship?
    3. Essay: Compare and contrast Ms. Blooms's tirades to those of the most dangerous heretics you'll ever see, focusing especially on who is more likely to caricature and stereotype people from other cultures.

    Don't worry; I'll give you all the answers throughout the course of this letter as well as a wealth of other information about Ms. Blooms. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean Ms. Blooms personally for her beliefs or worldviews. But I do assert that I must lead a jacquerie against Ms. Blooms. One of history's clearest lessons is that Ms. Daisy Blooms's politics are based on biased statistics and faulty logic, which, in turn, invalidate the conclusions she draws from them. May we never forget this if we are to deny Ms. Blooms and her slaves a chance to deny the legitimacy of those who take the lemons that Ms. Blooms is handing us and make lemonade.
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I won't sugarcoat this letter. This is a very bitter letter. Small children and the faint of heart should stop reading and leave the room. For practical reasons, I have to confine my discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which I have something new to say. It is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Kristen Marie's lackadaisical practices. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and acknowledge that I draw strength and courage from knowing that most people comprehend the crusade to stop Kristen and are supportive of my role in it. She sometimes puts herself in charge of achieving total world domination. At other times, one of her peons is deputed for the job. In either case, Kristen dreams of a time when she'll be free to "solve" all our problems by talking them to death. That's the way she's planned it, and that's the way it'll happen—not may happen but will happen—if we don't interfere, if we don't speak up and speak out against her and encourage others to do the same.

    All Kristen really wants is to hang onto the perks she's getting from the system. That's all she really cares about. Some day, her base-minded operatives may ask you why you think it's a good idea to take steps against the whole jealous brotherhood of rebarbative foolhardy-types. If you're too stunned to answer immediately they'll answer for you, probably stating that black is white and night is day. You should therefore be prepared to tell these coldhearted evildoers that Kristen is guilty of a shocking display of dishonesty and sophistry. If you'll forgive my parrhesia, I'd like to add that she keeps talking about the importance of her cause. As far as I can tell, Kristen's "cause" is to bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled. She deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that her cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love her for promoting it. In reality, nothing appears more plausible at first sight, nor more ill-founded and pretentious upon closer inspection, than Kristen's double standards. Now that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. A final word: Kristen Marie's cabal is a nidus of the most sappy strain of Lysenkoism I've ever seen.
    Posted 11 years ago by Akane Tuna Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Some of my colleagues recommended that I write a letter about how Ms. Akane Tuna has an implacable determination to satisfy her own ambitions and lusts at whatever cost to her partisans, her nation, and even to her own progeny. This is that letter. Before I say anything else, I'd like to state the following disclaimer for Ms. Tuna's benefit: Warning! This letter may contain sarcasm. Okay, now that that's taken care of, let me posit the hypothesis that Ms. Tuna's bruta fulmina can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that Ms. Tuna once said that she was chosen by God as the trustee of His wishes and desires. Her proxies and others capable of little more than rote psittacism are now saying that too. In contrast, I say that Ms. Tuna yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Ms. Tuna, "attracting attention" usually implies "using lethal violence as a source of humor". Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Ms. Akane Tuna, Ms. Tuna-inspired versions of Lysenkoism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger letter next time.
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • In this letter, I...ooooooh the BATTERFLIES!!! I KNEW I was forgetting someone!! *gently tosses the beloved batterflies into her ark and looks around to see if there are any bunnies, too, just in case, because...well...because bunnies*
    Posted 11 years ago by KitchWitch Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *Comes back from Naraka*

    *Sees thread still going strong*

    *Drinks Wine of the Dead*
    Posted 11 years ago by Mal'akh Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *celebrates Mal'akh*

    *does backflip*

    *breaks self*
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Purple aliens.
    Posted 11 years ago by Innie✿, Obviously Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hurry up, it's time!
    Posted 11 years ago by Carl Projectorinski Subscriber! | Permalink
  • HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
    Posted 11 years ago by Seeen Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oooh, oooh! Write something about me!
    Posted 11 years ago by Shepherdmoon Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Preposterous!
    Posted 11 years ago by Leanne Subscriber! | Permalink
  • IN this letter i'd like to say that I really have no idea whats going on, May i have a recap plz
     *Gets Popcorn*
    Posted 11 years ago by cheese danish king Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *pops popcorn and releases a cloud of tiny purple aliens into the mix, which promptly begin to paint rainbows on every surface remaining still for more than 10 miliseconds*That ought to solve EVERYONE's issues, complaints, and concerns quite neatly. Yes?
    Posted 11 years ago by Lorian Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *frolics* Popcorn! Aliens! Rainbows! 

    Okay, now that that's out of the way, I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that Lorian makes it her job to brainwash the masses into submission. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, doctrinaire world run by wicked, demonic big-mouths.

    Lorian has been enacting new laws forcing anyone who's not one of her partisans to live in an environment that can be described, at best, as contemptuously tolerant. That's just a tiny facet of what all of us will face if we let her destroy the heart and fabric of our nation. For what it's worth, if anything will free us from the shackles of her impetuous tractates, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that if you read between the lines of Lorian's manuscripts, you'll indisputably find that when I was a child my clergyman told me, "In this case, the obvious solution is also the correct one." If you think about it you'll see his point. Writing letters like this one has earned me more hate mail from Lorian than you would care to hear about. To say anything else would be a lie.

    This is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that Lorian insists that cronyism is the catholicon for all the world's ills. Although I've already discussed the abject fallaciousness of that argument, the fact remains that we have fallen into her trap. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how education and open-mindedness are some kind of liability. That's just not true. On a closing note, I hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that Lorian's cat's-paws can read some crock of nocuous drivel she once wrote and believe that they've read something really profound.
    Posted 11 years ago by Akane Tuna Subscriber! | Permalink
  • DEAR ABBY: I have this friend who really detests angel food cake. I have made unprecedented amounts of angel food cake both this year and last, and have invited him over for a belated Christmas dinner because of it. The problem now is that some windy bitch keeps pounding on the front door, shrieking "Get out, get out, you don't live here, get out!" How do I climb out the back window without stepping on any cats? Please advise. -- CAUGHT W/ ROLL OF DUCT TAPE & NO SUITABLE EXPLANATIONS
    Posted 11 years ago by Kipple Subscriber! | Permalink
  • No other topic is more important and explains better the demise of our society than the saga of Ms. Shepherd Moon. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that Ms. Moon has been going around saying that truth is whatever your grievance group says it is. That's a bit of a furphy. The truth is that as that last sentence suggests, there's something I've observed about Ms. Moon. Namely, she may not know how to spell "anthropomorphical", but she unquestionably knows how to accelerate our descent into the cesspool of neocolonialism. I've further observed that what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Ms. Moon's line that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever her personal interests are at stake. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Ms. Moon and her slaves are, by nature, avaricious hoodlums. Not only can that nature not be changed by window-dressing or persiflage, but in all the torrents of rhetorical hot air thus far expended, it's hard to find a single sentence from Ms. Moon that acknowledges that she is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens her creature comforts, she throws principle to the wind.

    Will someone please explain to me what it is in our lives that can possibly make someone let down ladders that the acrimonious, profligate, and tendentious scramble to climb? Because I certainly have no idea. I had thought the world was free of hubristic hoodwinkers. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that Ms. Moon wants to cast ordinary consumption and investment decisions in the light of high religious purpose. Just as night follows day, she will prevent the real problems from being solved in the coming days. Allow me to close by stating that this is yet to be comprehended by most evil nihilarians.
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • [!Kung]
    Posted 11 years ago by Berry Goode Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *uses rhetorical hot air to fill hullabaloon*

    *floats gleefully*
    Posted 11 years ago by Kristen Marie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • In mutual validation of commitments beyond breakfast I hereby dedicate this Bud Light to the followers of Ilmenskie Jones and his pithy, cult-inspired wisdom.  The rest of you double-talking tweakers clearly have no inherent understanding of the freedoms at risk and are plainly employing verbose overspeak to cloud and delude the rest of us.  I know my rights!  I will not wander blindly down the overgrown path of the paraphernalia of gibberish to spend my final days stomping grapes with helikittehs and cretins.  So there.
    Posted 11 years ago by acro, obviously Subscriber! | Permalink
  • A house divided against itself cannot stand.
    Posted 11 years ago by Black-Eyed Susan Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm pretty sure that this comes from a certain website which takes excerpts from a letter or something just like this one and allows you to change the names in it.
    Posted 11 years ago by Avnas Subscriber! | Permalink
  • OMG, great big walls of text. *dies*
    Posted 11 years ago by NightDraconis Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Curses! Foiled again!
    Posted 11 years ago by Akane Tuna Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *wanders blindly down the overgrown path*

    *trips*
    Posted 11 years ago by Kristen Marie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Friends, you know me as a balanced and rational Glitch. Indeed, does not my very code exude the virtues of balance? But this... this sheer disregard for the tenants of, not simply my personal Druidic works, but indeed Giantism in general... why, I am internally quaking with well-masked anger.

    Actions taken by courageous thoughts such as Glitchite NightDraconis are clear proof that this in-fighting has gone too far. How many gentle Glitcheem will have to inform us of their death through emoticons before we wake up (tragic joke unintended)?! Look upon your folly! Look upon and be ashamed.

    The Beryl Rocks and Wood Trees knew. They knew, and you ignored their knowledge. "No!" You said, "We shall not trust the elderly. We must look ahead to new events!" And, just as anyone with a mind could have predicted, we fell into a doomed history.

    I blame no one Glitch for the downfall of our traditions, suffice to say they are dead, and we each hold a bloody vial of No-No Powder. And I must ask you, acro (obviously)... was it worth it? Was your false Light of Bud worth turning away from the knowledge of the ages? Bud will never love you as Cosma could have! Had you opened your heart to the Giants, the Giants would have opened their heart to you.

    I pray, for all your sakes, that my words end up not as a lost note in the jungle, but as a warning of things to come. Wastefulness and blame-games merely twist the knife in further. Follow me, and walk with balance, to true salvation.

    Or walk an over-grown path, forever.
    Posted 11 years ago by Lone Druid Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I am now very very hungry.
    Posted 11 years ago by natsumi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I miss you.
    Posted 11 years ago by Innie✿, Obviously Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO CONTRIBUTE.

    YOUR MOM.

    OR POSSIBLY, YOUR FACE.

    We shall see as time goes by.
    Posted 11 years ago by Scarlett Bearsdale Subscriber! | Permalink
  • YOUR MOM'S MOM'S FACE
    Posted 11 years ago by Osiris χ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Gentle madamsirs, I must protest the excessive verbosity of the responses to this forum post. While it is true that witty wordplay whets the senses of those so inclined, and that words of scintillating pulchritude have the power to move the masses to action, nay, revolution even, but is is not true that these selfsame words bring down kingdoms, governments, office cubicles, leaving wanton destruction in their wake? Is this what we truly want? 

    As is evidenced by perusing the various responses, several readers have already succumbed to the copious textual barrage and have been reduced to quivering incoherence. Would it not be the more humane path to spare these poor Glitchen the ignominious fate of mental breakdown and its consequences for the quality of their remaining lifetimes? Surely as enlightened and genteel folk we may do our fellow man this simple courtesy. It is the hope of this humble observer that peace and order be restored, and quickly.

    TL;DR: Won't someone PLEASE think of the children?
    Posted 11 years ago by DOOMy Nutpuncher Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The children?  The children?  Doesn't anyone get the point? It doesn't matter for squat that it is not difficult to see the undercurrents of obscurantism in the children's objectives. What's far more relevant is that relative even to soporific devotees of conspiracy theories, the children are more excitable, more violent, less sexually restrained, more impulsive, more prone to crime, less altruistic, less inclined to follow rules, and less cooperative. To begin at the beginning, I once managed to get the children to agree that they offer nothing but cheap insults and banal rhetoric. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, they did a volte-face and denied that they had ever said that. The children's trained seals' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be.

    The children and I are as different as chalk and cheese. They, for instance, want to delegitimize our belief systems and replace them with a counter-hegemony that seeks to slander those who are most systematically undervalued, underpaid, underemployed, underfinanced, underinsured, underrated, and otherwise underserved and undermined as undeserving and underclass. I, on the other hand, want to tell the truth about the children. That's why I need to tell you that if I didn't think they would quote me out of context, I wouldn't say that we must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that they will preach hatred. And to overcome these fears, we must study the impact on society of the children's greed, stupidity, hubris, and outright corruption. Unfortunately, most people have been so brainwashed by the children's birdbrained, daft cajoleries that when push comes to shove they'll end up siding with the children. That's why we must provide you with vital information that they have gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. Although different people often see the same subject in different lights, when you look back over the text of this letter, it should be clear that I have defeated this stuporous tax cheat with my words. Just imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.
    Posted 11 years ago by Saucelah Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Just imagine what your mom and I did with my fire-breathing fists last night!
    Posted 11 years ago by Scarlett Bearsdale Subscriber! | Permalink
  • What in the fuck am I reading?

    Holy hell someone has too much free time.
    Posted 11 years ago by ☣ elf ☣ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I am not a diplomat, and, as such, I am not fully conversant with the elegant and rarefied language of the diplomatic trade. I have a reputation for saying what I mean and meaning what I say. So I trust that you'll forgive me if I come across as a bit blunt when I state that I am rather disturbed by free time's somewhat internecine attitude that we should love things and use people instead of the other way around. For most of the facts I'm about to present, I have provided documentation and urge you to confirm these facts for yourself if you're skeptical. The really interesting thing about all this is not that we can see the damage that is done when free time tries to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide. The interesting thing is that its claim that one hallmark of an advanced culture is the rejection of rationalism is factually unsupported and politically motivated.

    Free time always demands instant gratification. That's all that is of concern to it. Nothing else matters—except maybe to peddle the snake oil of tactless charlatanism. I tell you this because free time, with its craftiness and jaundiced obiter dicta, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches some day. Free time will then use those riches to view countries and the people that live in them either as economic targets to be exploited or as military targets to be defeated. The moral of this story is that there is only one way to stop it from brainwashing the masses into submission. We must make out of fools, wise people; out of fanatics, men of sense; out of idlers, workers; out of shameless paper-pushers, people who are willing to lead us all toward a better, brighter future. Then together we can drain the swamp of influence-peddling and the system of pay-to-play. Together we can show the world that free time's blandishments should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that free time's hijinks are intended to steal our birthrights." One last thing: Free time wishes it could buy "ethnic cleanser" at the grocery store.
    Posted 11 years ago by Saucelah Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Am I the only one? The only one who see's the writing on the wall? This is nothing but terrorists using our good forum for-ahh...for-it's...for coded messages! I haven't quite mastered the...wait, what were we drinking to? This(saucy little red letter {A}) is so 2000 and 12. It's 2013....move on!!!!
    Posted 11 years ago by bayBi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I used your mom for coded messages last night!
    Posted 11 years ago by Scarlett Bearsdale Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Typical, Scarbear....

    There's a question that's been on my mind lately: Has Ms. Scarlett Bearsdale ever considered what would happen if a small fraction of her time spent trying to destroy any resistance by channeling it into ineffective paths was instead spent on something productive? I mean, a substantial fraction of her peons and—if the polls are to be believed—a large number of xenophobic kooks actually believe that her views are Holy Writ. To plunge right into it, she tries to make us think the way she wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. 

    If we are going to speak objectively about her revenge fantasies, we must understand that it is immature and stupid of her to foster pauperism at every opportunity. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to invigorate the effort to reach solutions by increasing the scope of the inquiry rather than by narrowing or abandoning it, and that's why I say that the common denominator of all of her accusations is that they seek to jawbone aimlessly. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Ms. Bearsdale.

    If I didn't know any better I'd say that anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for "advanced" thought in the humanities already knows that Ms. Bearsdale conveys, for mere selfish and partisan purposes, the delusive impression that the laws of nature don't apply to her. What may be news, however, is that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. 

    Isn't it interesting which questions she dodges and what tangents she goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that she makes it sound like she is omnipotent. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to make Ms. Bearsdale answer for her wrongdoings.

    There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that Ms. Bearsdale, with her craftiness and crime-stained vituperations, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches eventually. Ms. Bearsdale will then use those riches to open the gates of Hell (wine). The moral of this story is that if we are powerless to communicate and teach, it is because we have allowed Ms. Bearsdale to seize control of the power structure. 

    Thanks for reading this.
    Posted 11 years ago by Beans, Obviously Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Is this thread about politics or religion?
    Posted 11 years ago by Eye Wonder Subscriber! | Permalink