I haven't told people around here much about what's going on with my life not because I don't want to, it's because I live a pretty boring and grounded life and there isn't much to tell. Still, I do experience highs and lows; my friends know this best, so I'm gonna try to make this as short and concentrated as possible.
First of all, I'm about to graduate in about a month. Pretty good stuff, yeah...but what's starting to hold me back right now is the health of my father...
You see, he has been feeling pretty bad since a couple of years now...getting very painful cramps on his leg which get to be stronger and stronger every day. And now he's starting to really freak me out...he forgot who I was...
...in his own words "I didn't know who I was with a few minutes ago."
*sigh*
This is so freaky...damn...
I don't know...I guess I should have seen this coming...he has become clumsy and has been doing stuff that makes no sense...
About 3 years ago he took out the plastic where you screw the cap of the gas tank of the van without any reason. At first I found it hilarious but things have been getting worse ever since then.
He doesn't sleep much either, he goes to bed late and wakes up after 2 to 4 hours and he can't go back to sleep at all.
I don't know what might happen if I ever leave him alone. I just freak out when I go down to the kitchen and I hear his TV but the chair where he sits isn't squeaking or when I come back from class and I shout out "Dad! I'm home!" and hear no response just to find out he was asleep or in the bathroom.
I know I might be over-thinking this too much because he hasn't been tested for Alzheimer yet. But if he does, I'll do my best to be with him.
Dad, you will never be alone as long as I'm around.
I don't know...I might start working out and practice my skills before I get a job or freelance. The time is now.
I could certainly use a hug right about now, but alas I don't have any friends outside the computer screen...but I do know that their feelings are sincere so every single bit of concern is greatly appreciated.
Sorry for being so silent, but thanks for reading.
Please take care everyone.
~Navid