Friends,
After the recent untimely demise of G.E.T.C. (Glitchen for the Ethical Treatment of Craftybots), Ur is facing a ethical disaster of epic proportions. The incidence rate for Craftybot abuse has reached an all time high and continues to grow with each passing gameday.
Take the tragic case of Dr Fake Alt*. (Real names have been changed in order to protect the guilty from mob reprisals.) Dr Fake Alt came Home one evening to find a shiny new Craftybot in his back yard. He excitedly freed his new mechanical assistant from its box and put it to work.
On Craftybot's first attempt it managed to produce 2 Seasoned Beans. Dr Fake Alt was ecstatic. Next he instructed Craftybot to make some Awesome Stews. At this point things got...complicated. First Craftybot ran out of fuel. Dr Fake Alt gladly refueled the helpful machine and set it back to work. But Craftybot failed to produce any Awesome Stew. Dr Fake Alt tried again and again to have Craftybot complete the assigned task. At his wit's end, he clicked the Craftybot once more. This time he discovered something that had previously escaped his attention...the option to Kick.
At first Dr Fake Alt couldn't bring himself to kick his new-found friend. But as seconds ticked by, the end of the world swiftly approaching, Dr Fake Alt grew desperate. Impulsively he clicked the Craftybot menu and choose KICK. Horrid metallic clangs and muffled screams filled the air. Although Dr Fake Alt was appalled at his own behavior and filled with intense feelings of self-loathing, he continued to brutally KICK his Craftybot for the next 11 minutes.
Despondent, at wit's end, Dr Fake Alt fled to the Ancestral Lands, recklessly confronting would-be robbers in what may very well have been Ur's very first case of attempted JuJuicide.
Luckily Dr Fake Alt's cry for help was heard before things got out of hand. I found Dr Fake Alt wandering the streets of Xalanga, covered in Paper and mumbling incoherently about the sacrificing himself to the JuJu Queen. I brought Dr Fake Alt back to my offices. After a few hours of gentle coaxing (followed by a not so gentle application of Truth Serum) I finally discovered the source of his madness. He was of course suffering from CAD: Craftybot Abuse Disorder.
Hoping to improve the situation for both Dr Fake Alt and his Craftybot, I immediately came up with a plan: Dr. Yum Yum's Craftybot Retirement Home. Craftybot owners, either CAD sufferers or even those who simply fear that they might become CAD sufferers, can drop off their Craftybots, no questions asked.
Craftybot Residents of Dr. Yum Yum's Craftybot Retirement Home live out their lives in peace. They perform no labor, and are never, ever KICKed again. Today, both Dr. Fake Alt and his Craftybot are doing much better.
If you or someone you know suffers from CAD, please consider the gift that keeps on giving: Dr. Yum Yum's Craftybot Retirement Home.
(* Any name similarity between myself and Dr Fake Alt is purely coincidental and not to be construed as anything more than a very strange, unlikely and unfortunate coincidence.) (I mean yes I can understand the urge to KICK stupid Craftybots when they fucking don't do what they are supposed to do. As a semi-licensed professional it is my job to try and understand. I try. I really, really do.)
ETA: It turns out that Craftybots can not be left with my butler. If I am not around to check Craftybot in to the Retirement Home, feel free to add me if we are not already friends and send Craftybot via Mail Frog. I am told the journey is quite comfortable and for the most part not at all dangerous.