Topic
Pledge to stop using the word "Retard" today!
I am sure most of you know this, but it appears as though many do not.
My nephew is a down syndrome child, and I take great offense with the R-word. Did you know that by casually using the word "retarded" to refer to an action as less than ideal, you are making someone (like my nephew) with an intellectual disability feel less than human - whether you mean to or not?
Pledge to stop! http://www.r-word.org
I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities. - Innie
Replies
- This should go to the offtopic forum.
- Really? Because see, I have seen 3 posts today in this forum alone using the word "retard", I have also seen it used several times in game TODAY. I think it is pretty important to the game, and the community! It may be off topic to you, but it sure isnt to me and a few others.
- If "retard" and "retarded" are being used as derogatory terms in this forum, then this forum is absolutely the right place to discuss that use.
- Support.
- +100
- Support.
- Honestly, I don't think it would be possible to eliminate the R-word, but I think the medical meaning could(and should) definitely be changed. Also, I don't think that anyone on the forums was trying to offend anyone with disabilities.
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Technically the word retard means "to move/develop slowly". Words aren't the enemy here, it's the intention and meaning attached to it that hurts people. So how about we pledge to stop trying to be derogative in general instead of perpetuating a taboo attached to a word.
Side note: I DO use the word retard in (somewhat) daily life as a musician. Once again, words don't hurt but assumed definitions and connotations do. -
Thank you, Innie.
Here is some further reading for people who aren't yet sure whether this word is appropriate or not:
davehingsburger.blogspot.co...
davehingsburger.blogspot.co...
davehingsburger.blogspot.co...
davehingsburger.blogspot.co... - If you offend people without even knowing that you're being offensive, perhaps a bit of education will help you use a different way to express yourself.
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I've worked with special needs kids in the past, and I completely agree.
Bump! - I have an son with Asperger's and I too am sensitive to name calling. My children are multi-cultural and in our house we have never used any terms that label people or slander them. No pledge need, since it is a way of life for us
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While I refuse to use the word "retard" (and "gay" and "like a girl") in derogatory ways, I do use the word "retarded" to refer to things that have been slowed (i.e. "His social development was retarded by..." or "Her language skills are retarded, possibly due to...").
I don't use it to refer to people with Down's, as they... well, they have Down's Syndrome, and are not retarded... They have a condition with a name, not merely some slowed development or developmental delays.
I agree with you, that it should not be used derogatorily, but it should not be eliminated. It's nearly impossible to be PC about actual delays in skills or learning, and "retard/retarded" are words that can perfectly express the issue succinctly, especially in cases where it's a bit more than just "he's a slow learner" but not so extreme so as to be diagnosable. - +1 million, thanks Innie. Mine & The Rogueling's son is autistic. The word "retard" has been in the past slung at him at school in a very hateful, and hurtful, way. I'm glad to see a topic finally devoted to eliminating it's use.
- I don't have to pledge not to say it because I NEVER use that word or any other derogatory terms such as that. I find that a lot people do use those terms are either immature mentally or are actually 12 or 13 year olds.
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Eliza - as someone trained as a speech language therapist, i can tell you we will never (edit: at least, never be required to!) use the word 'retarded', ever. there is no situation (at least that a SLT would encounter, and trust me there are a lot of situations SLTs encounter that have nothing to do with speech :)!) that ever justifies using the word. if it was the only word to describe the particular condition i might hesitate, but there are plenty of alternatives that are more meaningful, less offensive, more exact, more accurate and far more useful to the listener! we even usually avoid 'his development is delayed' even though developmental delay might be the official term - although this is probably for the more picky and PC among us :).
you could say that a certain 36-month-old child's speech is testing on [name of test] at a 30-month age range. or you could say that the child has x y and z characteristics which are typical for a child at [condition, age, some objective measure]. you could even say what exact feature was 'delayed', such as 'this child is able to sit up with assistance' where the age-appropriate ability was to sit up without assistance.
and if forced to, like a parent saying 'but what is it CALLED?', you could say 'consonantal delay by x months for his s and f sounds' and EVEN THEN you would explain what the delay meant (as it turns out, many normal children might not get s and f until a lot later than their age-appropriate 'norm', so even though it's officially delayed it may not actually be a cause for worry and they might not need therapy at all). see how even when you do use a term that means 'slowness' you are supposed to explain exactly what you mean so the parent is not just be left thinking my child is just stupider than other children.
all this is, of course, in the SLT world - i'm open to hearing about situations in other fields where the examples i gave weren't sufficient. - My Brother In Law has Down Syndrome so I fully support this... I can't stand double standards when it comes to 'society's' use of particular words...
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Please keep this in general forum.
People need to know this is not some kind of trivial "PC offense" but a word every bit as offensive as the N word. Use it around me at your peril. I WILL SPLANK YOUUUUUUUU - +1000
- I agree Innie. This word should NEVER be used to describe anyone. Period.
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I'm surprised this is an issue. I haven't heard the word spoken out loud in over a decade, at least. Doesn't everyone know that you just don't say that word? Period. No excuses.
Not only is it offensive, but when you say that word, you effect how people view you. You're perceived as either ignorant and clueless or so much a jerk that you don't care who you offend or hurt. Is that the person your trying to portray yourself as being??
If anyone ever said that word around me, no matter how I felt about them before hand, I would neither do business with them nor associate with them again. - I refer to those that have a certain intellectual disability as mentality ill but if its a normal person and they are acting beyond dumb then i use stupid or the "r" word. but cutting it short will eventually lead to being within the same league as the 'n" word which is now just as shameful as the real word itself.
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Oh haha, also, I should point out there's a certain level of pc-sensitivity past which we don't really NEED to venture (though the forward-looking and liberal of us certainly can try to). Raktivist, i studied under both psychology and speech therapy professors who were starting to denounce 'intellectual disability' as an unredeemable word almost on a level with 'retarded.' I think the most pc term these days is 'differently abled' - not sure if it's taken off.
However it must be agreed that some of the newer frameworks are much, much more helpful than the older labels, offensiveness or not. "He is able to use a wheelchair and a ramp to move in and out of his house, and move from room to room" is much more optimistic, meaningful and helpful to both professional and client in terms of 'what is his condition' than "He is unable to walk, and cannot get in or out of his house unassisted, which has stairs." (an example of how we talk about ability, not disability)
And outside the professional community there is the inexorable advance of society's understanding of euphemisms (ah, linguistics and psychology, how we love you). Did you know moron and imbecile used to be professional diagnoses? :) Surely no one would bat an eye objecting to those terms today. Maybe in days to come, no one will even think of using the word 'retard' anymore.
edit: @Nerdcore, BTW when you say musical I am thinking of rit and ritardando? (I am slightly musical too.) I guess you would use it in its context, like "you guys are supposed to rit here not THERE, and don't crescendo until the end" for example. In which case it has its very specific meaning, and no other meanings are ever accidentally attributed by the people listening. Unless by musical you meant that you use it as in "hey, did you even practise any of the pieces, retard" etc.. - Okay - from now on I'll only buy flame "special"-ant clothing ;)
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maybe this is retarded, but i think the word "retard" has transcended its original usage and moved onto a new use. you can't fight language baby. slang is the future whether you like it or not.
what was offensive yesterday may not be offensive today and What's offensive today won't be tomorrow. - +10000
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I'm sorry about the post I made with the "R-word" in it. I usually catch myself from using it but sometimes it slips through by habit. I will be more careful though.
Here is what the dictionary says:
re·tard [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Show IPA verb (used with object) 1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.verb (used without object) 2.to be delayed.noun 3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.4.Slang: Disparaging. a.a mentally retarded person.b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard. 5.Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle. -
Oh and of course you can fight language, what do you think language reclamation is all about?
We no longer use the n word.
And as for transcending, no I dont think so. Transcending implies it has moved on from it origin, and the whole point of this is that it hasnt. It is being used as a derogative word precisely because of its original meaning. -
If you're going to argue that one shouldn't use the term "retard" then please refrain from using the following pejoratives:
blind, crazy, lame, dumb, deaf, numb, diseased, gimpy, hysterical, imbicile, idiot, midget, pinhead, schizo, slow, spazz, or dimwit
Each of these terms refers to a person with a different disability.
I mean, you should probably just stop referring to things in general. It's 2011 for crying out loud! Who needs to refer to anything anymore? You just show up at your job-box and they shovel your mouth full of food. Imagine the horrors the can arise from metaphorical reference:
"Man, I killed you at tennis last night!"
"My dad died of tetanus!"
"Man, this movie blows"
"My mom used to be a sex worker!"
"Man, this ice cream is like a joy holocaust in my mouth"
"My grandfather was a nazi!"
Etc.
Things can get very uncomfortable. It's much better to make statements like this:
"I have a slight emotion related to something you may or may not have thought about doing."
"Enjoyment is best when accompanied by other positive emotions, though negative emotions are OK too."
"Everyone has good in their hearts, even people who obviously don't."
Etc. -
Yeah, go ahead, crocen, try and tell my friends with special needs kids that their sons and daughters are "r-word" (you know, with the new transcendant usage of the word). See how well that's received. See if it doesn't still make their kids cry and feel like crap about themselves.
The funny thing about shitty hurtful offensive derogatory words is that ONLY people to whom those words directly apply get to decide if it's time to reclaim them or not...and in what context.
In other words? If you're not developmentally differently abled? STFU. You're being wicked rude. - HODOR
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@ Fergles- I love it!
I try to remain sensitive and not use certain words, as I have said. But just because one slips out once in a while, I don't think that one should be burned at the stake for it. Oh crap, your Aunt wasn't a Witch was she?
@ Epilady- Also true. I am from Appalachia, so I freely use the word Redneck. African Americans freely (in some cases) use the N-word. I do not use the N-word myself since I do not believe it is right, and something inside of me won't let me say it or type it. Not because it's not PC, but because I am just not comfortable with it.
I cuss ALL of the time in my life and on G+ and my personal blog, however- I watch what I say in a space like this. I know the time and the place to use certain words, and I restrict myself with the cussing in certain places.
However, when I am at my Psychologist and Psychiatrist, I don't watch my language at all. This is because I want them to see me as how I really am, not as a censored version of myself, since they need to see the real me in order to help me.
Additionally, even though I have been diagnosed with a few mental illnesses, people saying "crazy" and other such things related, does not upset me in the least. - Fergles, I dont use those words. However, I do use asshat, numbnuts, dipshit, son of a biscuit, etc. I do use the word slow, though. That is a hard word not to use. I would not use it talking about a persons mental/physical/speech abilities, though.
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Serra....as a poor/working class origin white person (born in West Virginia, raised on Gov'mint cheese) who is highly aware of racism and white privilege....I try to avoid using terms like "redneck" or "white trash" because they, too...are racist against people of color, implying that there are "good" white people and "bad" --- which again reinforces the idea that nonwhite people are ALL "bad."
"Watch your language" if you must. Or understand that some of the words you use are actively problematic...and think about better words to use. This is not an academic exercise. This is not "PC." It directly and actively hurts real, living people. Go ahead, tell me you don't care, and that your right to say hurtful, offensive things is more important than the right of other folks not to be justifiably, horribly offended.
....really? You're that special? - Well said Epilady.
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My Aunt adopts mentally and physically challenged children from all over the world. I grew up having Thanksgiving dinner with 10-16 children with disabilities. I use the word "retarded" quite frequently. I also use "lame." Am I being disrespectful to people with disabilities? I don't think so because I am not using it to actually refer to people with disabilities. I also know what the words actually mean.
For the record, I don't use any racist slurs, homosexual slurs or sexist slurs. I believe all people are equal. I also believe that the world is getting far too sensitive.
I also know enough about etiquette to not use the word retard in a public forum. -
So you know enough about etiquette not to use it in a public forum...but you still use it in public speech? Because you know and interact with people the slur directly hurts?
....OK.
Personally, I would work to use different words. "Ridiculous." "Unbelievable." "Astonishing." "Foolhardy." Or hey, get creative and Shakespearian! There's NO EXCUSE to use slurs when there are so many more spicy words to use. None. - Also, people who cry that the world is getting "too sensitive" are generally people the world hasn't really harshly attacked. AKA "too sensitive" = "you're taking away my right to insult and hurt other peoples waaaahhhhhh"
- not sure if...
- No.
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That some members of an oppressed group do not find a term or act offensive does not mean that they get to decide for everyone that it is not offensive. They get to decide that they are not offended by, and other people to whom that term refers by a standard and commonly accepted definition also get to decide that they are offended when it is used in a derogatory sense.
That there exist a number of people in the world that are offended by your use of a term that is commonly understood to refer to them should matter to you when you are speaking to people that you are not totally familiar with. This includes people who are not visibly members of that group because you do not know their affiliations. -
@Epilady
I don't use it publicly. I use it when in close company when I know I don't have to watch my words. Same as I don't swear in public but I swear around my friends.
And, I feel the world has gotten too sensitive and for your information, I am gay and have been bullied and harassed all through out grade school. Does it offend me when someone uses the word faggot? Not really, its irritating but most of the time its not meant to refer to actual gay people. Just like retard is not used to refer to actually disabled people.
Its the intent and the emotion behind the word that is what offends me. If someone where to call me a homophobic slur and have the intent to harm behind it then it is definitely an issue. If someone where to go up to a disabled person and call them retarded then there would be hell to pay (hell being my fists).
I'm an advocate of free speech not hate speech. One just needs to realize the difference. - Guess what? I'm queer too. And if someone called me a "dyke" out on the street, I would punch them in the face. And if someone called you a "fag" I would punch them in the face, even though I am not a gay man, and even if you think it's cool to be insulted. Just because you're cool with being insulted and marginalized doesn't mean it's OK to use such words. It's not. It's never OK.
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Also, we're talking about reclaiming words...you are free to call yourself whatever you want. But if you are not developmentally other-abled....it's not your word to reclaim. Surely you can understand this.
ETA: also also: I grew up with a special ed teacher as a guardian, surrounded by kids with autism and down syndrome...and I don't think I have any right to call things or people "r-word." -
I try to make sure that I never use 'retard' as an insult to anyone. However, I also think that in this area as well as many others the PC squad has gotten out of hand. As soon as you choose a new phrase such as "intellectually handicapped" or "mentally disabled" it will start absorbing all of the negative connotations that others unfortunately still have for people with such issues. I actually find it kind of insulting to be told to use the phrase "differently abled" as if the grownups have to use a euphemism around me. I have a close family member who cannot speak, cannot walk, and cannot do most of the tasks of daily life for himself. He is severely handicapped, and you cannot make me say anything else about it. But in the family we all love him, care for him, and do what we (along with all his various doctors, therapists, teachers and friends) can to make sure he has the best life we know how to help him lead.
The problem is not the words, it is the negative feelings about people who are different, especially in a way that makes us uncomfortable or scared. This is why education, not about what words to use, but by actually meeting, interacting with and understanding the issues facing other people is the only way things might improve. -
yeah well this is the Internet and people say dumb things. and you could say the same thing about everyday life. you can campaign all you want to protect this word, but it doesn't matter.
I think its stupid that people get offended over some things but oh well. if you want to try and build a community without retard being used, awesome. but i don't care and if i use(or others) a word in a context that you don't like, well tough luck.
I live in a country where people can say whatever the hell they want, i get on a machine that allows me to talk to whomever i want from wherever and yeah thats going to piss some people off because different cultures also have different slang, but for now, from where I'm sitting saying retard is only offensive if you go up to a mentally challenged person punch them in the face and say "Get the f- out of here you retard."
So, TLDR. i'll use retard and you can continue not using it. -
Be sure when you step,
You step with care and great tact
(Dr Seuss)
It's really not that complicated. There are words that some people find offensive, and they have as much right to be offended by those words and "you" (general you there) have to use them. The R Word campaign serves to highlight a word that people might not have been aware was hurtful or offensive, and now you know.
So rather than getting defensive, upset, or raging about Political Correctness Gone Mad, how about accepting that it's a hurtful thing to say for some people, apologising if you use it and getting on with your life. -
@Epilady- I'm from here as well, Southeast Ohio, on the border. There is a difference between us and rednecks, you know.
For example: I was in a town the other day when I saw a couple of guys who locked themselves out of their truck. They managed to find a coat hanger and unlock it. While doing so, the guy said "A little bit of afro-engineering makes everything work". THAT guy is a redneck, for saying that phrase. See where I am going with this? -
Don't get mad at people that give bad names , feel sorry they are in such denial of there own insecurity.
Don't get caught by hatred ,it harms everyone in the long run, worst, it is what the baddies want , they need it to be someone for a brief moment...
Like MLK we also have a dream ... -
Actually, Crocen, 'retard' is offensive any time you use it as an insult. I don't think I have to explain why, since many people have said it already. I think you know exactly why, but like you said, you "don't care".
Well, if you know it hurts people's feelings to use it this way, but keep doing it anyway simply because 'you can talk to whomever you want however you want', you're a jerk who enjoys hurting people's feelings.