Topic
Pledge to stop using the word "Retard" today!
I am sure most of you know this, but it appears as though many do not.
My nephew is a down syndrome child, and I take great offense with the R-word. Did you know that by casually using the word "retarded" to refer to an action as less than ideal, you are making someone (like my nephew) with an intellectual disability feel less than human - whether you mean to or not?
Pledge to stop! http://www.r-word.org
I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities. - Innie
Replies
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This campaign is the opposite of convincing to me. I think we should excise further use of retarded and retardation that refers to the intellectually disabled and people should stop giving such a strong appearance of wanting to pile on and kick everybody who uses the word in another sense. I think it's absurd to compare this to the N word or call it hate speech, and I'm sorry, but I don't see how calling Farmville or juvenile chat antics [dumb] hurts your nephew who has Down Syndrome and I have a hard time taking your word because of the faddish nature of this campaign and the many ways in which people overreact in defense of their loved ones. I think you people would have better luck if you didn't overplay your hand so much.
tldr: If you must react to this word, just say 'Please remember that word is hurtful; I'd rather you didn't use it' and stop beating people up about it. -
I'm not quite sure I understand why there is such hypersensitivity to this term and many of the others which have recently become a social no no. I think the harmfulness of the word really depends on context. There is a big difference between rudely calling a person a retar... in order to demean them and using the word as an adjective to denote the stupidity of some action, policy, design etc.
It's a bit like someone become angry because the word dumb is used as a descriptive adjective with a derogatory connotation since it could be considered insulting to people with low intelligence.
Before anyone goes off telling me what an insenstive and evil person I am and how I just don't understand what it's like to be stigmatized by terms like this, I should probably mention that have serious nuerological problems and learning dissabillities as a result of it and yet I still do not find this word offense unless it's used in a context that is intended to be hurtful.
I should also add that it is not a word that I personally use as part of my regular vocabularly. I think I might be lying were I to say I have never used the term, but it's something that is so infrequent that I don't even remember the last time I uttered it. - words aren't the enemy...
- I think everyone should worry about their neighbor. If everyone worried about their neighbor this world would be a better place.
- Wait, is 'lame' a disability?
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Well, I'm going to carry on using it at least. I'm not sure why some people are so keen on appropriating the term to mean their pet disability. I guess most of you guys aren't aware of this (?), but language changes and evolves over time, and I'd be willing to bet good money that 99.9999% of people who use the word "retarded" aren't saying "that's a lot like somebody with Down's syndrome", they're saying "that's very stupid". When do you hear this do you think, "wow that's so offensive, my nephew is very stupid and I resent you using this term to describe people like him?" I don't even understand why a child with Down's (or autism or whatever else you want to claim is under the 'retard' umbrella) would get upset by this, someone with Down's is not a retard, someone who thinks it's fun to e.g. play Chicken in front of moving cars is.
I don't know, the whole debate is just so... retarded. I'm not surprised that the "community" of Glitch is so against it, though, a lot of people here seem very keen to turn this forum into a platform for their political and socioeconomical views, beginning with the QUILTBAG idiocy and moving right on through the whole spectrum of minorities and repressed peoples. Are we going to have a thread about dwarves next?
I guess I just don't care if your nephew is offended or not. If he is offended that is pretty retarded in itself imo, because when I am using the term it has absolutely nothing to do with him, his illness, his behaviours, or any part of his existence at all. There is absolutely no reason for him to feel offended or upset about it. It's his own decision to be offended and I'm not going to change my behaviour on the basis that some people very far away from me have decided to become offended by it based on some not very rational reasons. -
Well after those ^^^ reply's i'm glad I have a block button.
Hate, hate, hate that word. My support is yours :) -
Yes, Mandy23.
lame /leɪm/ [leym], lam·er, lam·est, verb, lamed, lam·ing, noun adjective
1. crippled or physically disabled, especially in the foot or leg so as to limp or walk with difficulty.
2. impaired or disabled through defect or injury: a lame arm.
3. weak; inadequate; unsatisfactory; clumsy: a lame excuse.
4. Slang. out of touch with modern fads or trends; unsophisticated. - I would like to offer up my name for some individuals' block lists. I generally don't use certain terms but I would much rather certain hyper-sensitive individuals protect themselves from me, as I'm sure they would eventually find something I say or do offensive to their delicate sensibilities. To spare them, and subsequently myself from them, please by all means place me on ignore.
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If you find yourself in a situation where you inadvertently hurt or offend someone, and they bring it to your attention, apologizing would be the polite thing to do. However, I think that people need to realize that by making a big deal about some words and phrases, you are giving those words power any are helping to perpetuate the negative stereotype you associate it with.
For the younger generation today, words like dork, nerd, spazz, retard.......are all lumped together and used interchangeably. My kids school regularly has workshops and assembly's about tolerance and bullying. My children are very aware, as are most others, that commenting on peoples size, shape color .....is not appropriate. They also regularly interact with others who have mild to severe disabilties and would never dream of being mean or picking on them because of their "special needs" Two of my children also have special needs.
All that said, why do they still say these words you ask? Because these words have a different meaning to them. They do not view it the same way as a lot of people here do. Even the kids with special needs themselves. Including my kids. I also have some older family members who take serious offense to these words and find them very hurtful. Who is right? Who is wrong?
I think both sides need to be aware of the other sides position. You never know who you are in a room with, or what their experiances are. Who wants to be an "asshole"? When you are out in the world, proceed with caution. Keep your Farts, Body Oder, Swearing and Slang to yourself. All the threads about this type of thing shows how people have just lost sight of manners and common courtesy. If someone tells you that you have hurt/offended them, believe them.
We live in a world where everyone has the right to be free. Free to say what we want, free to be who we are, free to choose our religion....but then again everyone else has those same rights .....If everyone is free, is anybody really free? That like saying everyone is special. Well, if everyone is special, no one is really special are are they. Not really. It is an illusion.
Love your neighbor, respect his plight, stop being righteous, be tolerant, use common sense. We are all in this together. - What we need is a word to take the place of the negative usage of words like "gay" and "retarded". However saying "That's undesirable and uncool" doesn't have quite the same ring to it as saying "That's gay" or "That's retarded". I am not trying to promote the usage of these terms, however I would be lying if I didn't admit that they are part of my lexicon. Although when I use those phases I am not using them to personally attack anyone, but merely to describe a situation, idea, or action. Whether these words are offensive or not is a personal opinion, to me they're not, maybe to you they are. I don't consider it "Hate speech", but I suppose others do. However I think that it only gives the word more negative power by completely removing it from your vocabulary. By referring to the word "retard" and "retarded" as "The R-word" you're putting it on the same level as the word "Nigger". A word that has so much social stigma attached to it that people even wisper the more PC term "The N-word". Not to mention that even if another more "politically correct" term arises it will only be a matter of time before that becomes negative as well.
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Please understand, I am not begging or telling others what to do. If you want to take the pledge with me, that's great! If not, I have at least done my best to make others aware of how hurtful that one word can be. I am not a huge PC person, so this isnt about that. In my world, that word does fall right up there with "N". I am glad some of those mental differences are not hurt by this word, however my nephew and aspie daughter have been crushed by it at times.
I did not mean to create a debate, or get feathers ruffled. I do apologize for upsetting anyone :(
I just wanted to share how hurtful that word can and has been to many... - It is hurtful and offensive, imo, as one who loves a Down Syndrome child. Thanks a million Innie~Hugs
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NSFW, but really sums up how I feel every time someone sneers the words "Political Correctness" as if it's a bad thing to consider everyone else's feelings before opening one's mouth.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmk... - So I'm moving this to the Off Topic forum as - though certainly not off topic to life in general, it is for the game forums.
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Blanky, perhaps you missed this post in General
http://www.glitch.com/forum/general/11008/ - Epilady, no one in this thread has complained about "political correctness".
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" 99.9999% of people who use the word "retarded" aren't saying "that's a lot like somebody with Down's syndrome", they're saying "that's very stupid"."
That's the problem right there! Do you know why people use 'retarded' to mean 'stupid'? Because it used to be considered wrong, stupid, and shameful to be mentally disabled. Did you know the word 'idiot' used to be a clinical term for a person who was mentally challenged? No point in trying to win that one back, it lost that meaning a very long time ago and few people even remember it, but 'retarded' still makes people think of those who have a mental disability, and that's why using it is not cool.
In the same vein, people use 'gay' to mean 'crappy' because being gay used to be considered weak, shameful, and deranged. Do I need to come up with more examples?
I say 'used to be', but many people still think that way. And by using 'retarded' as an insult, you are promoting their point of view. You're going back to that old, ridiculous notion that mentally disabled, or as they used to be called, retarded people, are not quite human enough to deserve our full respect. -
Absolutely untrue, Victoriah. Most of the objections to this post from those who say they plan to continue using a word they know perfectly well is offensive and hurtful have made some variant of the "PC gone mad" argument:
• Numerous variations on OMG Y U SO SENSITIVE/WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL/IT'S ONLY A WORD DUHHH (as if you are some kind of authority on exactly what is offensive to any other person) - this is a TEXTBOOK hallmark of the "PC gone mad" argument.
• My disabled friend says it's OK/I have a disabled neighbor/I am gay...therefore I have the authority to say whatever I want
• The slippery slope argument ("next you're going to say I can't say "kill" or "stupid!")
• The scare quotes argument ("By calling it the R-word or the N-word you're making it even more hurtful, so let's just keep saying the full words")
• The ignorant conflation of free speech with hate speech, and the even more ignorant idea that speaking out against an offensive term is EXACTLY the same as censorship
• "you can't police language, it makes itself," as if we haven't eliminated scores of racist terms from polite society by mass disapproval.
• Relatedly, "I don't mean actual people with disabilities! I mean that when I say "r-word," that thing is stupid, bad, ugly, deformed, and uncool! They have nothing to do with each other, see?"
I could go on...but ALL of these derailing tactics have been used in the preceding discussion, and ALL of them are intimately associated with the idea that the discussion is excessive, trivial, or stupid, and that people are just speaking out because they're overly "politically correct" or oversensitive. All of these arguments basically say the same thing:
"My arrogance, willful ignorance, and selfish unwillingness to change a simple (and really trite, BTW) figure of speech is far more important to me than the feelings and lived experience of thousands of other human beings, whom I clearly don't think of as human enough to deserve my consideration and respect." - +1 MILLION bonus points to Epilady for the above.
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kicking it old school
'it's not nice to say retarded!' - thanks Innie. right there with you.
- Victoriah, yes, the QUILTBAG thing is idiocy. Because the NEED for it is idiocy. The issue I always fight for isn't just sociopolitical. People like me need a safe space from people like you, and people like you have proven that time and time again, even here on Glitch. So STFU.
- I'm glad you put that site up. I never use the r-word but it's one of that words like gay where people don't know that by using it, they're being offensive and just sounding like morons.
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Thank you for saying something about this issue. As with any place, there will always be apologists who say it is their "right" to use such a word, and that we're all just too "sensitive". You know what? How about standing up for decency and respect for everyone? How about people showing respect for people, whether YOU think it's offensive or not. It's not about you, it's about the person who might have that offensive label attached to them whether they want it or not.
I think in particular, the r-word is used extremely casually amongst gamers. It's tossed about without a single thought as to what they are really saying. It is no different to any other epithet. It's time people stop viewing disrespect as cool and normal. It's not normal - it's HATE, and you can't varnish it. -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IYx4Bc6_eE
I don't use the 'r' word. I hate it.
It also bothers me that a number of people are all 'I use it to mean something stupid or idiotic, not someone who has a developmental disability'. Where do you think the word comes from, exactly? It's like Ricky Gervais and his thing about 'mong'. How could someone *not* know it's based on prejudices about people with a genetic condition?? - Good luck, Innie, I hope your cause succeeds where my (similar) campaign to end a slur failed.
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I agree that society has used the word in a derogatory way and that it should NOT be used that way anymore. However, completely disposing of a word in the English language is like burning a book, imo. Retarded is a useful word when speaking about something that is actually stunted. Ex: My tree was retarded by lack of a proper growing space.
I agree with political correctness. I disagree with banning words.
Note: I did not read every post as it is an extremely lengthy topic. - Thanks for clearing that up, Little Miss Giggles :) English is not my first language, so I really had no idea of that uses for this word
- Will have to agree with victoriah and if someone needs to add me to their block list, so be it. I use the word alot but it has nothing to do with the handicap/actual mental/physical disability. To me it just means the person/situation that I'm currently encountering is stupid imo. Will I stop using it? Nope. No offense, but I'm sure those who sit and preach "say no to the r-word" do other things to offend people and don't post threads about it or even try to change their ways. *shrugs*
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Crys, I'm sure that's true - no one is perfect. But does encouraging (which you deem "preaching") respect for differently abled people do any harm? Does it really hurt you to stop using the word casually? There are better ways to express disapproval or anger about someone's behavior than using a slur. That's what this discussion is about.
No one gets to divorce the word from its meaning. It doesn't work like that. Your intent doesn't matter. Just because you're ok with it, doesn't mean it's less offensive. In many posts I am seeing a lot of, "Well, that's just YOUR problem if you're offended, and I don't really care because it doesn't REALLY mean that I'm being hateful, so I'm going to dig my heels in and use it anyway, regardless of how you insist it hurts people."
If anyone here can't see how anti-social and cruel that is, I don't know what to say other than I hope someone important to you hugs you more often.